Just wanted to say a quick thank you to my other -- very tolerant -- half for pointing out how to make a PDF file. =^>.>^=
Thank you! <3
Aside from that, writing is still going all right. The night before last night, I had the hardest time writing. I sat there and went through editing and polishing what I had written the night before that. Last night though, I actually managed to drag out a few pages and got myself back on track.
My current -- mighty two -- pre-readers (one of which knows the background of what is going on and the other doesn't) have become fangirls after only 3.5 chapters. One of them really loves the character that the current perspective is being written from, the other one is a Helen fangirl like me and is harassing me to write a perspective of Helen.
That's a tall order since she IS supposed to be a supporting character (highlight below for quasi spoiler).
You see, Helen has a much shorter life span compared to most of the other characters in the story, AND there is a relatively lengthy amount of time before she comes back in to the story. Sure, I could write a short story on why she is the way she is, and maybe I will. I don't know yet if I want to include the entirity of Helen's story inside Sitara's story.
Anyway... /end spoiler ramble
The other thing that amused me last night was the conversation that came up about how my readers think that the current main character looks. I suppose that I shouldn't be surprised since everyone has they own concepts of beauty, but their opinions were different then what I envisioned in my own mind. OF COURSE they asked me what she looked like in my mind (with an actress comparison) since I have said character designed down to the B-W-H measurements in my mind. I am hesitant to give my opinion since I rather like hearing the different visual thoughts that they have. :3
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Helen Fangirl
Yes, I know that makes almost no sense to anyone that might possibly read this, but oh well!
Helen is a character in the book I am writing and will possibly be one of the most over-looked characters. At best, people will recognize her as only a supporting character which does bring me a twinge of sadness, but she is so much more to me!
Oh Helen, scary Helen, perhaps I shall write a short story for you someday that will bring you to contentment!
Edit: I also officially have my first car in the book~
Helen is a character in the book I am writing and will possibly be one of the most over-looked characters. At best, people will recognize her as only a supporting character which does bring me a twinge of sadness, but she is so much more to me!
Oh Helen, scary Helen, perhaps I shall write a short story for you someday that will bring you to contentment!
Edit: I also officially have my first car in the book~
Friday, December 12, 2008
Winter Storm Ramble
Last night was a good night for me writing wise. I got to ramble and bounce ideas off of "Nee-chan" (who is actually one of my best friends and surrogate little sister. lol It's a lame but sweet story for why everyone calls her that so it's probably better off not told xD).
Which also reminds me and makes me sad, she's getting married on New Years Day and I can't be there. =^;_;^= Silly living on the other side of the country!
Anyway, so I got to ramble at her for a good 2-3 hours which really lightened my mood. It was nice to have feed back on all of the work and thought that I have so far put into the setting of what I am working on (as well as all of the character concepts I have -- even the partial ones). Later we had fun doing name searches and trying not to laugh at people with very unfortunate meaning names.
So far, three names that I will never name ANYTHING unless they are places or animals that too aptly fit the names:
Which also reminds me and makes me sad, she's getting married on New Years Day and I can't be there. =^;_;^= Silly living on the other side of the country!
Anyway, so I got to ramble at her for a good 2-3 hours which really lightened my mood. It was nice to have feed back on all of the work and thought that I have so far put into the setting of what I am working on (as well as all of the character concepts I have -- even the partial ones). Later we had fun doing name searches and trying not to laugh at people with very unfortunate meaning names.
So far, three names that I will never name ANYTHING unless they are places or animals that too aptly fit the names:
- Beverly : BEV-er-lee : anglo-saxon "beaver meadow"
- Capri : KAH-pree or kuh-PREE : anglo-saxon "the goat"
- Damaris : DAH-mar-is : greek "heifer"
Steve is still out sick today with some stomach bug, so Kim and I are trying to come up with a plan to keep him quarantined to his office when he returns. Kim is lucky and got to leave early today because it is her son's birthday and they are going to Portland despite the horrendous storm coming into town. I had to shoo her out the door after lunch though so that she could take off before it really hit and now I am all by my lonesome with a years worth of receipts to go through and this months tenant filing (I really wish that they wouldn't give me all of the filing all at once, it becomes an all day project when they do that =^>.<^= ).
Oh well, at least I have something to do!
As things are right now, I am hoping that the power manages to stay on. It has been flickering on and off since 10:00am today. I don't know how the weather looks higher up on the hill, but so far down here on the river front, it has been almost non-stop pouring rain or sleet with very heavy wind. The wind is so strong that it actually blew one of our 50+lb potted plants into the street... I did not have fun going to chase that down. Well, that's not true. It was very entertaining for me to chase a plant that was rolling down the street. Returning it to the office was the far less than fun part! So, since that happened I had to move all of the plants inside the empty office next door. lol I probably should have asked to take a few minutes and move my car closer to the office too. =/ Oh well, a lot of sleet, rain and 70mph wind gusts never hurt anyone, right? *rolls eyes*
Honestly, what I worry about the most right now is that the storm is hitting now, it will knock out power to the area like last years storm did and then the snow will hit so people are going to be freezing... and our fire place doesn't work well due to a broken flue (is that even how it is spelled?) and something on the top of our chimney which is facing the wrong way and causes the wind to blow the smoke back DOWN the chimney into our house. lol
Ok, ok, I'll stop complaining. After all, Jes and Paul are coming down this weekend! So no matter what there is bound to be fun, even if we ARE freezing!
**UPDATE** Kim just called and said that she has to drive all the way to Longview to use the bridge there to get home due to waves crashing over the 101 bridge from OR to WA. :( Poor Kim, I hope she makes it home all right tonight.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Late night ramble~
I went through and finally did a "Christmas List" for my family over the past two days. Apparently, this year is my year for CD wants which I don't think I have ever claimed before since I have -- in the past -- always just bought whatever CD it was that I wanted.
Right now I am really enjoying a group by the name of Jake's Mannequin (sample here).
Story Progress:
Today I finished the general descriptions on my takes of the different races, abilities, lack of abilities, etc and I feel a lot more confident for a setting. I also have some character ideas but am severely lacking for names at the moment. For now, I am trying to come up with my own names for characters rather than use something generic, religious, historical, etc. It isn't that I think some names wouldn't fit so aptly, but some of these characters -- despite them not being a main character -- are so old that language didn't exist as we know it now. So far, this is proving to be a huge challenge. =^>.<^= But that's OK. No one ever claimed that naming something or someone that old was ever easy! =^n.~^=
Right now I am really enjoying a group by the name of Jake's Mannequin (sample here).
Story Progress:
Today I finished the general descriptions on my takes of the different races, abilities, lack of abilities, etc and I feel a lot more confident for a setting. I also have some character ideas but am severely lacking for names at the moment. For now, I am trying to come up with my own names for characters rather than use something generic, religious, historical, etc. It isn't that I think some names wouldn't fit so aptly, but some of these characters -- despite them not being a main character -- are so old that language didn't exist as we know it now. So far, this is proving to be a huge challenge. =^>.<^= But that's OK. No one ever claimed that naming something or someone that old was ever easy! =^n.~^=
Monday, December 8, 2008
I can't find what I want to read, so damnit, I'll write it!
So, I spent several hours going through a couple of different online book lists trying to find something that I WANTED to read... and out of about 500 books there was nothing that I could find that sounded appealing. Then all of a sudden I had the urge to write something very badly.... Very, very badly and it has been plaguing my brain ever since.
I hope that I actually have the stamina and patience to write this one this time, especially because this is something I would love to read. Of course there are a ton of other things I hope about it, but who knows? Maybe someone else would actually want to read it.
Right now though, it's all just so complicated inside my mind with so many different aspects! AND it's driving me doubly batty since I am at work with kind of something to do but not really and I COULD just sit here and type away.... So tempting!
I hope that I actually have the stamina and patience to write this one this time, especially because this is something I would love to read. Of course there are a ton of other things I hope about it, but who knows? Maybe someone else would actually want to read it.
Right now though, it's all just so complicated inside my mind with so many different aspects! AND it's driving me doubly batty since I am at work with kind of something to do but not really and I COULD just sit here and type away.... So tempting!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Illness & the Power of the Senses (aka, I think I am going insane)
Illnesses can be an odd thing sometimes, so I apologize for this likely insane ramble.
It seems like I have been sick for a long time, but I guess it was one thing that weakened my immune system and then something lingering invaded as well. While I am finally starting to feel better bit by bit, I still tire easily and seem to be plagued and gifted with a few side effects.
Lately, my sense of smell has been returning and it feels like it's ten times stronger if not more depressingly picky. I cannot stand the smell of a lot of things that I used to like to eat, everything just smells like it is tainted unless it's a vegetable really. For the past few days I have taken to eating plain pasta with olive oil and parmesan, but even that smells rancid like it will kill me or something. It's very difficult to even put it in my mouth but I can keep it down. The only things that do not tend to offend my poor nose and result in me resisting the urge to cover my nose and mouth and run to the restroom are vegetables, some crackers, and some breads. This does actually help with my appetite though. For a long time I never realized how much I ate, and this has really pounded into me how much I used to eat and how much food my system actually needs to be healthy. If you have ever had to choke down something that your body thinks will kill you, you might understand how that feels! lol
Last night was a challenge: There was a fund raiser dinner last night (that one of my bosses helps organize every year) and I was a volunteer there. Initially -- from long before I became ill -- I was supposed to be the "lead" server and walk around singing/leading carols. My lungs choose to not cooperate with this job and neither did my stamina so I was assigned to "back of house" where I was supposed to just fill pitchers with ice & water as well as take care of making coffee. Well, that didn't exactly happen either. Somehow I ended up being one of the cooks/food preps (meaning I was the one placing food on the plate and making it look pretty). To say that I was uncomfortable all night is putting it mildly.
Due to my surprise position in the kitchen for the evening, I tried very hard to not breathe through my nose but that didn't help much. After a couple of minutes it was like I could smell and taste the scents of the food... with my mouth. It was very bizarre to say the least and I can only hope that I didn't look like I thought all the food was horrible while I artfully went around placing delicately curling piles of cucumber and carrots on plates, or zucchini spears precariously balanced on steak, crab and risotto. I don't really know how to explain it I suppose, but it was sort of like tasting a room just by breathing... and it tasted like death on a hot plate. =^-_-^= (At least the zucchini was tasty).
And at least I had the chance to escape the kitchen and cool off in the servers room every once in a while.
I can't say that my capability of hearing has changed much unless I am just insanely in tune or familiar with my surroundings. Hah, I rely on my selective hearing too much I suppose because I could swear that I am half deaf most days from all my time spent wearing headphones. My eyesight has become a little bit better since I have not been on my computer so much. I really hadn't noticed how stressed out my eyes were until I was in the car with Beau driving and I realized that once again while we zoomed around town I could pick out individual leaves and details on plants and buildings that have been just a blur for the past year or three. So it's nice to be able to see things like I used to again; however, I don't know if this really applies to night time. I wish it would, it's very limiting to be unable to drive in the dark safely. As things stand now, any light directed where I am in the car threatens a blinding headache, and my sense of depth and color are horrible at night.
My reaction to being touched lately has been weird too. It's like my skin is incredibly sensitive. While we're in bed, if Beau nudges my foot or pets me to help me fall asleep it's like a ticklish, sharp, static shock. The fabrics of the clothing I wear seems more... intense? Or at least more noticeable to me. What I hate though is when I meet someone new, there is the social obligation to shake hands. It's like I can feel every god damned detail in their hands: not just the calluses or scars, but the usually imperceptible ridges and lines in hands that make all of us humans unique. And it's even worse if they have dry hands, or "workers" hands. My skin practically crawls and the hair on the back of my neck and arms stands on end while I try not to grind my teeth. And everyone else's skin is so much warmer than mine which makes them ask me if I am "OK". I hate that.
I hate that so much, even if it isn't just because I run a few degrees colder than everyone else in the world (last doctors visit I was an awesome 92.7 degrees and I thought the doctor was going to freak out when I told her I am almost always cold like that at check ups and that if I am ever much warmer than that I can feel it in a bad way). Chances are I probably look like hell most days. LMAO There was someone that came in from the Redcross at the beginning of the week handing out fliers for a blood drive going on and she actually gasped when she looked at me and took a few steps back before edgily handing me the flier and saying that I looked like I needed blood more than I could give it. I could have sworn that she was going to cross herself when she said that too. And here I thought that I was the crazy one... even if the person crazier than me made me feel like some freak of nature or zombie.
I think my skin could just be in hyper sensitive mode since it's winter.
Anyway... aside from being sick and my different senses being strange, I have been reading a lot lately and sleeping probably nearly as much with the kitties trying to keep me warm. :3
It's actually a little bit sad and funny at the same time since both Misha and Sierpi love to be snuggled and pet, but they both seem to be terrified of Beau. Well, at least Misha mostly tolerates Beau (most of the time). He just wants to snuggle, pet and play with them and they usually flee in terror, look annoyed or hide next to me mistakenly thinking I will protect them. lol
Aside from that, Solstice / Christmas is quickly approaching and I have no idea what to get anyone for presents. Usually my mom has some books or magazines that she wants that I can get for her but she has a huge amount of in-store credit with Powell's and nothing really on her list that she wants for once. Beau hasn't given me even a hint of what he wants and neither has most of his family. Fortunately we have his sister covered and my father mostly covered. Aside from that we just need something for Paul, Jess and Josh. =^>.o^= Again, not even a hint of what they would like. It isn't like I don't see things they would like... but when I do see something I think they will like I tell myself to remember what it was so I can tell Beau later... only to entirely forget about it. *rolls eyes*
Anyway, this has been a tremendous ramble for my normally silent blog. Again, my apologies for letting my fretful insanity out.
It seems like I have been sick for a long time, but I guess it was one thing that weakened my immune system and then something lingering invaded as well. While I am finally starting to feel better bit by bit, I still tire easily and seem to be plagued and gifted with a few side effects.
Lately, my sense of smell has been returning and it feels like it's ten times stronger if not more depressingly picky. I cannot stand the smell of a lot of things that I used to like to eat, everything just smells like it is tainted unless it's a vegetable really. For the past few days I have taken to eating plain pasta with olive oil and parmesan, but even that smells rancid like it will kill me or something. It's very difficult to even put it in my mouth but I can keep it down. The only things that do not tend to offend my poor nose and result in me resisting the urge to cover my nose and mouth and run to the restroom are vegetables, some crackers, and some breads. This does actually help with my appetite though. For a long time I never realized how much I ate, and this has really pounded into me how much I used to eat and how much food my system actually needs to be healthy. If you have ever had to choke down something that your body thinks will kill you, you might understand how that feels! lol
Last night was a challenge: There was a fund raiser dinner last night (that one of my bosses helps organize every year) and I was a volunteer there. Initially -- from long before I became ill -- I was supposed to be the "lead" server and walk around singing/leading carols. My lungs choose to not cooperate with this job and neither did my stamina so I was assigned to "back of house" where I was supposed to just fill pitchers with ice & water as well as take care of making coffee. Well, that didn't exactly happen either. Somehow I ended up being one of the cooks/food preps (meaning I was the one placing food on the plate and making it look pretty). To say that I was uncomfortable all night is putting it mildly.
Due to my surprise position in the kitchen for the evening, I tried very hard to not breathe through my nose but that didn't help much. After a couple of minutes it was like I could smell and taste the scents of the food... with my mouth. It was very bizarre to say the least and I can only hope that I didn't look like I thought all the food was horrible while I artfully went around placing delicately curling piles of cucumber and carrots on plates, or zucchini spears precariously balanced on steak, crab and risotto. I don't really know how to explain it I suppose, but it was sort of like tasting a room just by breathing... and it tasted like death on a hot plate. =^-_-^= (At least the zucchini was tasty).
And at least I had the chance to escape the kitchen and cool off in the servers room every once in a while.
I can't say that my capability of hearing has changed much unless I am just insanely in tune or familiar with my surroundings. Hah, I rely on my selective hearing too much I suppose because I could swear that I am half deaf most days from all my time spent wearing headphones. My eyesight has become a little bit better since I have not been on my computer so much. I really hadn't noticed how stressed out my eyes were until I was in the car with Beau driving and I realized that once again while we zoomed around town I could pick out individual leaves and details on plants and buildings that have been just a blur for the past year or three. So it's nice to be able to see things like I used to again; however, I don't know if this really applies to night time. I wish it would, it's very limiting to be unable to drive in the dark safely. As things stand now, any light directed where I am in the car threatens a blinding headache, and my sense of depth and color are horrible at night.
My reaction to being touched lately has been weird too. It's like my skin is incredibly sensitive. While we're in bed, if Beau nudges my foot or pets me to help me fall asleep it's like a ticklish, sharp, static shock. The fabrics of the clothing I wear seems more... intense? Or at least more noticeable to me. What I hate though is when I meet someone new, there is the social obligation to shake hands. It's like I can feel every god damned detail in their hands: not just the calluses or scars, but the usually imperceptible ridges and lines in hands that make all of us humans unique. And it's even worse if they have dry hands, or "workers" hands. My skin practically crawls and the hair on the back of my neck and arms stands on end while I try not to grind my teeth. And everyone else's skin is so much warmer than mine which makes them ask me if I am "OK". I hate that.
I hate that so much, even if it isn't just because I run a few degrees colder than everyone else in the world (last doctors visit I was an awesome 92.7 degrees and I thought the doctor was going to freak out when I told her I am almost always cold like that at check ups and that if I am ever much warmer than that I can feel it in a bad way). Chances are I probably look like hell most days. LMAO There was someone that came in from the Redcross at the beginning of the week handing out fliers for a blood drive going on and she actually gasped when she looked at me and took a few steps back before edgily handing me the flier and saying that I looked like I needed blood more than I could give it. I could have sworn that she was going to cross herself when she said that too. And here I thought that I was the crazy one... even if the person crazier than me made me feel like some freak of nature or zombie.
I think my skin could just be in hyper sensitive mode since it's winter.
Anyway... aside from being sick and my different senses being strange, I have been reading a lot lately and sleeping probably nearly as much with the kitties trying to keep me warm. :3
It's actually a little bit sad and funny at the same time since both Misha and Sierpi love to be snuggled and pet, but they both seem to be terrified of Beau. Well, at least Misha mostly tolerates Beau (most of the time). He just wants to snuggle, pet and play with them and they usually flee in terror, look annoyed or hide next to me mistakenly thinking I will protect them. lol
Aside from that, Solstice / Christmas is quickly approaching and I have no idea what to get anyone for presents. Usually my mom has some books or magazines that she wants that I can get for her but she has a huge amount of in-store credit with Powell's and nothing really on her list that she wants for once. Beau hasn't given me even a hint of what he wants and neither has most of his family. Fortunately we have his sister covered and my father mostly covered. Aside from that we just need something for Paul, Jess and Josh. =^>.o^= Again, not even a hint of what they would like. It isn't like I don't see things they would like... but when I do see something I think they will like I tell myself to remember what it was so I can tell Beau later... only to entirely forget about it. *rolls eyes*
Anyway, this has been a tremendous ramble for my normally silent blog. Again, my apologies for letting my fretful insanity out.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Mini-update
I really don't have much to say in the way of an update... at least I don't think I do. Knowing me though, I'll ramble on about nothing! ;)
The work on the house is still progressing, Beau's parents are here for the rest of the week at least and it's that womanly time... so trying to not be crazy in general is difficult. Really, I'm hoping to be moderately left alone so I don't just randomly start crying for no other reason than I got paint on me somehow. *rolls eyes*
Admittedly, the entire house situation stresses me out, but I cope as best as I can and do what I can to help speed the fixing up the house situation along. I think the things that bother me most about the house are the lack of a kitchen and the lack of some little niche that I can have to myself. The latter more than the former, and I am fairly certain that Beau knows this. lol He knows that I go crazy without my own, personal space. Right now, my personal space pretty much takes up about 1/3rd of a wall between the tele and a plastic set of drawers for our socks, in our bedroom. lol It can be a pain sometimes since it's essentially just my computer, but I sit and talk -- and I do mean verbally not textually -- with my friends on it. I lead "raids" in World of Warcraft on it. Sometimes I am excitable and then Beau feels like he needs to turn up the tele so then I start talking louder. It makes talking to people and telling people what and when to do rather difficult. lol Other times I do try to be quiet since he's taking a nap or trying to sleep.
However, I know I will have my own space eventually and my emotional tidal waves will calm down.
I suppose that this is an odd thought, but I feel more than absurdly happy and blessed by association by whatever powers that be, that Beau loves his job. It's so rare for someone to have that and I hope that I can find that again. I do miss my job, it wasn't an impressive job by anyone's standards, but I loved it none the less. So now I really must search for a new job! And hopefully it will be one that I can tolerate without hating it too much.
Let's see, I also have a trip coming up that I am really looking forward too. I get to go see one of my friends that I have not seen in almost eight years. She is going to be competing in a tournament for TKD in Orlando, FL. Her parents did not want to go to FL.
Aaaand my break time is over for now. /sad Back to working on the house lol
The work on the house is still progressing, Beau's parents are here for the rest of the week at least and it's that womanly time... so trying to not be crazy in general is difficult. Really, I'm hoping to be moderately left alone so I don't just randomly start crying for no other reason than I got paint on me somehow. *rolls eyes*
Admittedly, the entire house situation stresses me out, but I cope as best as I can and do what I can to help speed the fixing up the house situation along. I think the things that bother me most about the house are the lack of a kitchen and the lack of some little niche that I can have to myself. The latter more than the former, and I am fairly certain that Beau knows this. lol He knows that I go crazy without my own, personal space. Right now, my personal space pretty much takes up about 1/3rd of a wall between the tele and a plastic set of drawers for our socks, in our bedroom. lol It can be a pain sometimes since it's essentially just my computer, but I sit and talk -- and I do mean verbally not textually -- with my friends on it. I lead "raids" in World of Warcraft on it. Sometimes I am excitable and then Beau feels like he needs to turn up the tele so then I start talking louder. It makes talking to people and telling people what and when to do rather difficult. lol Other times I do try to be quiet since he's taking a nap or trying to sleep.
However, I know I will have my own space eventually and my emotional tidal waves will calm down.
I suppose that this is an odd thought, but I feel more than absurdly happy and blessed by association by whatever powers that be, that Beau loves his job. It's so rare for someone to have that and I hope that I can find that again. I do miss my job, it wasn't an impressive job by anyone's standards, but I loved it none the less. So now I really must search for a new job! And hopefully it will be one that I can tolerate without hating it too much.
Let's see, I also have a trip coming up that I am really looking forward too. I get to go see one of my friends that I have not seen in almost eight years. She is going to be competing in a tournament for TKD in Orlando, FL. Her parents did not want to go to FL.
Aaaand my break time is over for now. /sad Back to working on the house lol
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